When I was seventeen, there was a two week period during which I really didn’t sleep. I slept for a couple of hours each night, only bothering to go to bed because I ran out of quiet things to do. It was utterly bizarre. Really, who goes two weeks without sleeping?
Tonight I feel the same way I did during those two weeks five years ago. I should be sleeping. I should be sleepy. Yet, here I sit, typing away on my blog because I just don’t feel tired. I lay in my bed for a while, hoping my racing mind would calm, my mind that was screaming, “I’m all revved up and ready to go,” turning into a jukebox beginning with the Ramones and traveling through the realm of Queen with “Under Pressure” and finally landing on The Smiths with “Please, Please, Please Let me Get What I want,” before I try to force myself to relax by chanting, “hamsa” a zillion times, which doesn’t work.
And so, here I am, contemplating various rock musicians and if I am beginning another cycle of no sleep. I guess I am almost always in a cycle of no sleep. In this instance mean, a cycle in which I don’t feel so much a need for sleep. Last time this happened was when my love and fascination for origami began. I also drew a fantastic chalk drawing on black construction paper of a vampire. It hung on my refrigerator for maybe a year before my stepdad took it down. Meanie.
Is it a good idea to go run three miles without sleeping much at all? Now I am just rambling and not writing anything useful. Great. Moving on.
Tomorrow–or today, as it would seem–I am going to do an experiment. I am going to walk around campus barefoot. In the snow. I’m not terribly fond of snow or cold. But I keep having this vision of myself spinning in circles barefoot in the snow. With my arms outstretched. With Shine on you crazy diamond playing in my head. Is that song my new theme song? I do like it quite a lot. It is a sad song, but strangely it makes me happy and revitalizes me more than making me feel sad.
I’m beginning to feel that when I am in a sleepy but not sleepy state, my thoughts become a rampant chain of ramblings that probably isn’t that interesting to read. Maybe this is why I can’t sleep normally. The way I’ve been typing for this post is very much how my brain flows while I try to sleep. Usually with some music floating around as well. And, no. I do not fall asleep with my headphones on. The only external sounds–at least during this season–are the pellet stove, Pyewackett wandering around, bugs or grass (never can tell what it is, actually) tapping on my bedroom window, and the cracking of the house. My house cracks, it doesn’t creak. It is odd. My old house used to creak.
Well, seeing as how I haven’t written anything of much interest, here am I, signing off!